I stopped all emotional rants here. & I think my blog is boring b/c of it. I cannot be that person. Not concerned with who reads this & likes it; none are the reasons why I started this blog. I just have to get shit off my chest (but with a new outlook & handle on life, I will try to be as positive as I can…)
Do not let anyone take the joy out of you.
For some time, I’ve been inching my way back into the realm of maintaining a band. I have new material and projects I want to get started on and of course, I torture myself, going thru the emotions of piecing a band back together. NEW YORK is a great city; the culture, the ambience, the vibe. It’s home. but I don’t know what planet majority of these musicians are on. For me, it’s not about finding the “sickest” musicians (that comes with a price tag & a whole lotta bullshit) but more so about someone who acts and thinks humanly. The point I’m trying to make is I’d rather not having someone treat this like a day job (go work a day job, right?); come in, work & clock out. I CAN’T.
I get being professional, but there’s a way to be personable & still handle your shit.
& speaking of professional; everyone is claiming to be & NO ONE actually is. Showing up late (or not at all), unprepared, unfazed, high & the list goes on and on. It’s not even “don’t waste my time” for me but don’t waste yours. You can do that in the comfort of your own home; no need in wasting a metrocard or burning gas. This is a process for me, process of elimination if you will…. I understand it might not all be there from the beginning but if you are persistent, things will come to pass.
* Everyone wants to get paid to do… nothing.- I will hit this briefly & move on because there are better things to write about. Just because I sing, I know that no one owes me shit. I can’t barge in a club and demand to get paid X amount of dollars… because I sing (not now, but maybe later) but that’s the thing, when you are in a position to do that, then handle your business. But until you take yourself and york work seriously, no one will (I learned the hard way) Because you went to school at ________ and studied abroad with ______ and trained for ___ years, STOP thinking that because YOU made that CHOICE to DO that, someone owes you the MOON & the STARS. & if you got it like that, then why the hell are you on craigslist…? The money is there if you do what you’re supposed to. If that is your biggest motivation for being a musician, get out now. It will ruin you, because you will let it.
*****IF YOU ARE NOT IN A POSITION TO HELP OTHERS BECAUSE YOU CAN’T GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, DO NOT PUNISH THAT PERSON. Honesty, honestly, is the best policy. (that is all I will say, OK? I didn’t say too much, haha………)
I’m working on another EP (long EP) & a full length record. This is going to be very expensive. It’s been almost impossible to land a REAL FT job (not the bullshit I’ve been forced to do) since graduating college (how ironic is that..?) so funding all of my endeavors has been quite the battle, but somehow, I managed. I don’t have investors, a board of directors, industry co-signers; it’s just me. Dwayne fucking Lankford.
Sometimes, I do feel lost and lonely, like my world is caving in but all honestly, what other choice do I have? To me, this is it (RIP MJ). There is nothing else I’d rather do. It’s been extremely difficult (emphasis on the EXTREMELY), but this is the life I choice (or the life that choice me, whichever way you prefer). I can’t complain. Like a rolling stone, I must continue on and on….
That felt good. Why did I ever stop doing this?
FreeEP & Conquer Evil, The Demon coming 2011. (pray)
-d.
-Sent from this device that iSpent $200 bucks on that keeps freezing and has low connectivity
